A Chinese
man is growing a replacement nose on his forehead. He damaged his first nose in,
what can only described as, a honeymoon accident.
His doctors
fashioned a new nose with tissue expanders, screws, and plates. They also added
some of his rib cartilage to give the schnoz some structure.
The
surgical team leader, Dr. Jack Frost, gave a special shout out to the Big Box Hardware store employee who conducted the Do It Yourself Nose Replacement Seminar early
one Saturday morning.
When the
new nose is ready, doctors will transplant it to the middle of his face and add
nose hairs.
Once a
suitable matching donor dies, the surgeon will perform a delicate booger
transplant. Future nose replacements may include small internal Febreze flaps
for Funeral Directors and Bravo Channel TV critics.
Scientists
are considering adding a long tube for skin diving enthusiasts, a bionic snorkel.
Bob Simpson
Bobsimpson1947@yahoo.com
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