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| In this corner, weighing one pound, The plump Tree Squirrel |
Next door, up on the roof, there was
scuffling and shingles scraping, sounding like rapid sandpapering.
A hawk had
perfectly timed his sortie. The brown wings fanned out and stalled his descent directly
above a squirrel.
Spring-loaded talons were outstretched, poised to snap crushingly into Mr. Furry’s flanks. The scene was deadly: a PBS nature documentary, grainy CNN war footage, or an altercation on The View. The acorn muncher was a goner because there was a freeze-frame just before impact where predator pounces and life drains out of the captive.
But … Mr. Furry had not seen any recent animal
films. So, he commenced to do The Squirrel Shuffle, which he performed for my
benefit, and his kinfolk back home in the old oak. He darted from one side of
the roof ridge to the other. Five times, he re-crossed over the ridge, all the while
moving along the housetop toward the front of my neighbor’s home.
Three seconds later, Mr. Lucky-Day Rodent was
safe. The raptor’s committed flight plan could not adjust to The Squirrel
Shuffle. With frantic fluttering, the predator rose and retreated, pretending
he had meant to miss the meal, and was merely out having fun.
 |
| In this corner, weighing 13 pounds, The Hungry Eagle |
First thoughts? What was that stupid tree
mouse thinking? There he was, up on a house with no cover, at noon. There was
no shadow to warn of the hawk’s approach.
How did he know to break into his
escape dance? Some innate instinct, an ESP of sorts, Essential Squirrel
Protection.
So what does this have to do with politicians? When you consider a political contender, and like
squirrels, they are all the same, please don’t support the candidate with
strong convictions about anything. Go for the guy or gal who has the best
record of wavering and vacillating on all issues, even the unimportant ones.
Rule out any candidate that has any underlying
family values or morals. If a statesman is indicted and subsequently
exonerated, then he is a prizewinner for your vote. It shows how resourceful he
can be in a tight situation.
To survive in this world or at midday on a
roof somewhere, you have to be willing to switch positions, perhaps many times,
and sometimes quickly.
Bob
Simpson
Copyright
2017
