World's Oldest Flamingo Dies

I hope Shrimp is on
the early bird menu.

The oldest flamingo in captivity died in Sydney, Australia in January. Even now, it's difficult to type or utter the words, "The old flamingo is dead," without choking up.

Greater, the Flamingo, died at age 83. He was euthanized due to to complications of old age. He even refused to drink his shrimp flavored can of Ensure.

Ok, Ok, he was actually dispatched in the kitchen of a Sidney Popeye’s Chicken franchise. “Try our Flamingo on the Barbie. We put the Flaming back in Flamingo. We, however, don't mean to imply anything negative or positive about the bird’s sexual orientation with our use of the word, Flaming.”

Ironically, the former oldest living flamingo was once the world’s youngest flamingo in 1931, until his brother hatched two hours later.

Regarding the end of life decision, the Adelaide Zoo representative said, “Although this is an extremely sad loss for us all, it was the right thing to do. Greater is in a better place now … inside some bloke’s Popeye’s Chicken Take-Out Sack."

Trivia:

A dead flamingo is called a Flamingone.

Popeye’s Chicken is a subliminal message promoting the Catholic Church. POPE YES.

A Flamingo has never appeared in the stage play Wading for Godot.

Bob Simpson

Bobsimpson1947@yahoo.com