1. Do you like Jimmy Walker, but don’t
remember
why?
2. If you can’t afford
fireworks, do you push your fingers into your eyes until you see the lights
flash?
3. You know exactly
how large a bandage you will need this year.
4. Do you think your
eyebrows will ever grow back?
5. You know from
personal experience never to buy another explosive duck decoy for your retriever.
6. Did you take out a
payday loan to buy fireworks?
7. Do you try to reuse
the sparklers from last year?
8. Have you ever
bought a finale fireworks rocket called Mules Across America
9. Did your bottle
rockets come with last rites instructions?
10. The Emergency Room
in your county waives the deductible for visits on July Fourth.
11. Does
your plastic surgeon offer a special Fourth of July wrinkle remover called BoomTox?
12. Do
you include your fireworks in a sensible weight loss program?
13. Your
friends now call you Lefty since last Fourth of July?
14. Did
you buy your fireworks from a South American Mining Company?
15. Old
firecrackers that just lay there and don't go off are called Baby Boomers.
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