The Royal Couple's Reality Show

ABC has confirmed: “The new Royal Family began filming last week in their Kensington Palace apartment. October 20, 2013 starts the new season premier of Celebrity Wife Swap.”

Back from vacation in Branson Missouri, Honey Boo Boo’s family began recording on this side of the pond.

Contrary to media reports, the Boo Boo family did not shorten His Royal Highness Prince George of Cambridge’s name to Bubba.

Prince William said, “The Duchess and I have discontinued suckling Honey Boo Boo with the Royal Boobs, although I still miss watching.” Duchess Kate refers to Honey Boo Boo as Honey Ow Ow.

Prince Will added, “We are unanimous is this breastfeeding decision. We would not change our minds for all the tea in Ceylon, I mean Sri Lanka. We still own Ceylon, I mean Sri Lanka, don’t we?”

Further updates:

The Duchess of Cambridge will continue to use her last name. She said, “It has been well established in public records as Middleton, even on Facebook and Classmates.com. Besides, I want to make sure I keep getting my Oprah magazine.”

Duke of Cambridge handlers have recently briefed him to never ever publicly say, “I swear on my mother’s grave” or “It’s to Di for.”

Bobsimpson1947@yahoo.com

Super Model Tazered

Super Model Christie Brinkley was 

I'm ready for my shroud, Mr. DeMille.

accidentally tazered by a doorman-bouncer outside an exclusive Hollywood nightclub for transvestites.

The bouncer didn’t recognize Ms. Brinkley and thought an over-dressed drag queen was just trying to cut in line.

Even after the super model was tazered, Christie Brinkley, age 59, was described by onlookers as "still shockingly stunning."

There is no reason to think that Christie Brinkley will ever read this, but if she does:

Girl, you still look 40 years younger than Billie Joel.

                 IRS knock knock joke

      "Knock, Knock."

         "Come in and take want you want."

Bobsimpson1947@yahoo.com

Heidi Fleiss Marijuana

Heidi Fleiss has been growing Marijuana plants at her Nevada home. She is the 1990’s Brothel Madam of Ill Repute. Ill Repute is a small southern California town.

The County Sheriff confiscated two of the 400 plants for evidence. According to the sheriff, “The remaining plants were destroyed by my deputies over the course of three days, or it might have been four days, or it might have been five days. Some of the details are fuzzy about the actual plant dispatchations.”

The sheriff added, “Dispatchations is a mighty funny sounding word, doncha think?”

The authorities did not immediately arrest Ms. Fleiss because she was the only one there at the time to care for her expensive exotic birds. She was very cooperative throughout the investigation, to the point of giggling a lot.

Fleiss said, “I raise the Marijuana plants just for the seeds for my pretty birds. The nourishing seeds make them fly really, really, really really … uhh … high.” 

If you have questions or want to add a remark, please leave a comment. I would love to hear from you. I promise not to argue or belittle you. That's what my wife is for. Just kidding, Dear.  

Bobsimpson1947@yahoo.com

Are BMW Drivers Jerks or Just Misunderstood?

Tony Little makes a lame remark,
"Come on. You Cane Do It."

According to recently released studies, BMW drivers are the worst offenders for not yielding or even stopping for pedestrians in crosswalks.

Rather than dispute these findings, BMW management has issued a statement: “We have always maintained that BMW really meant BUMP MULTIPLE WALKERS. 

We absolutely stand behind our products and customers. We certainly won’t stand in front of them.”

If you have questions or want to add a remark, please leave a comment. I would love to hear from you. I promise not to argue or belittle you. That's what my wife is for. Just kidding, Dear. 

Bobsimpson1947@yahoo.com