April 21 to
May 21
You'd be mad too if someone
shoved boxing gloves over you hooves.
Taurus. Patient, warmhearted, and resolute. You enjoy
waiting determinedly in the 75-items-or-less checkout lane, under the banner
reading, “If we notice more than 25 people waiting in any one line, we will
open another register.”
However,
you can be jealous, resentful, and inflexible. Lord help the person in front of
you with 76 items. You will count the items in that person’s cart, even
magnanimously acknowledging that a carton of eggs is really one item and not
twelve. But the last time the number reached 76 or higher on the repeat count, you
started dropping items from the offending cart onto the polished supermarket
floor.
To your
credit, when the security camera tapes are reviewed, you are smiling warmly …
as the bottled baby formula and Children’s Cold medicine break onto the tile.
Taureans
are frightened of falling into debt and they are extremely faithful in their
relationships. The ever-true Taurus will not stray from a poverty stricken
marriage unless she meets a good looking CPA specializing in debt relief.
Your star
stone is the Emerald, used in rituals to stop bleeding and just as effective as
a piece of gauze.
The Wizard
of OZ Munchkins were actually tiny Taurus hemophiliacs trying to get to the Emerald City
Originally,
a pasty little Munchkin accompanied Dorothy and the boys down the yellow brick
road. Sadly, the director cut the Munchkin and his songs from the movie. The
director said it was just too heart-wrenching to watch the little anemic
hemophiliac belt out, “If I only had a Clot.”
The ruling
planet is Venus, your color is pink, and your metal is Copper. Your favorite daydream
is of Venus Williams in a pink tennis outfit, cooking up a mess of bacon in a
copper frying pan. This daydream works for both men and women.
The
favorite car of this sign is the Ford Taurus. Remember retired Florida State
Seminoles football coach Bobby Bowden’s famous Ford TV commercial: “I lack
(like) Taurus.” He said this one time to the camera and drove home with a trunk
load of money in his new free Ford Taurus. Bobby Bowden’s astrology sign should
be the $$eminole.
The Taurus
sign is congruent with Virgo. Taurean Kirsten Dunst of Spiderman fame would be
compatible with Virgo basketball star and past Family Man of the Year, Kobe
Bryant.
Mr. Bryant
said, “I would like to court her. You know, if I wasn't married or anything
like that. But Kirsten probably wouldn't go out with me. It would be a long
shot, certainly not a slam Dunst.”
Remember.
You are a Star. Even if it’s a Fallen-and-Can’t Get-Up Star.
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You'd be mad too if someone
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However, you can be jealous, resentful, and inflexible. Lord help the person in front of you with 76 items. You will count the items in that person’s cart, even magnanimously acknowledging that a carton of eggs is really one item and not twelve. But the last time the number reached 76 or higher on the repeat count, you started dropping items from the offending cart onto the polished supermarket floor.
To your credit, when the security camera tapes are reviewed, you are smiling warmly … as the bottled baby formula and Children’s Cold medicine break onto the tile.
Taureans are frightened of falling into debt and they are extremely faithful in their relationships. The ever-true Taurus will not stray from a poverty stricken marriage unless she meets a good looking CPA specializing in debt relief.
Your star stone is the Emerald, used in rituals to stop bleeding and just as effective as a piece of gauze.
Originally, a pasty little Munchkin accompanied Dorothy and the boys down the yellow brick road. Sadly, the director cut the Munchkin and his songs from the movie. The director said it was just too heart-wrenching to watch the little anemic hemophiliac belt out, “If I only had a Clot.”
The ruling planet is Venus, your color is pink, and your metal is Copper. Your favorite daydream is of Venus Williams in a pink tennis outfit, cooking up a mess of bacon in a copper frying pan. This daydream works for both men and women.
The favorite car of this sign is the Ford Taurus. Remember retired Florida State Seminoles football coach Bobby Bowden’s famous Ford TV commercial: “I lack (like) Taurus.” He said this one time to the camera and drove home with a trunk load of money in his new free Ford Taurus. Bobby Bowden’s astrology sign should be the $$eminole.
The Taurus sign is congruent with Virgo. Taurean Kirsten Dunst of Spiderman fame would be compatible with Virgo basketball star and past Family Man of the Year, Kobe Bryant.
Mr. Bryant said, “I would like to court her. You know, if I wasn't married or anything like that. But Kirsten probably wouldn't go out with me. It would be a long shot, certainly not a slam Dunst.”
Remember. You are a Star. Even if it’s a Fallen-and-Can’t Get-Up Star.
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