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Saturday, September 13, 2014

High School Wrestling Leads to Increase in Same-Sex Marriages

Rikki, don't lose that number.

Scientists have found a correlation between states with well-funded high
school wrestling programs and an increase 
in subsequent same-sex marriages. 


The researchers were quick to note that further investigation is still required. “We still have thousands of hours of films of young sweaty boys grab-assing to review and study before coming to any final conclusion.”


In the meantime, new rules for grappling games have been promulgated throughout the country, based on these preliminary findings: 


o      The high school referee will end the match immediately if he hears both wrestlers giggling. 

o      Coaches, do not teach wrestling holds based on the Karma Sutra.

o      Never allow a match between conjoined twins, no matter how amusing you think it might be.

o      Greco Roman is not to be confused with Gecko Roman. If there is a lizard spotted in the match, charges of indecent exposure may result.

o      Discrete use of cell phone cameras is still allowed.

o      At no time, should hands ever disappear from view.

o      If you experience a wrestling match for longer than four hours, contact your healthcare provider immediately … or get a room.

Bob Simpson
Bobsimpson1947@yahoo.com


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