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Rikki, don't lose that number.
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Scientists
have found a correlation between states with well-funded high
school wrestling programs and an increase in subsequent same-sex marriages.
The
researchers were quick to note that further investigation is still required.
“We still have thousands of hours of films of young sweaty boys grab-assing to review
and study before coming to any final conclusion.”
In the meantime, new rules for grappling games have been promulgated throughout the country,
based on these preliminary findings:
o
The
high school referee will end the match immediately if he hears both wrestlers
giggling.
o
Coaches,
do not teach wrestling holds based on the Karma Sutra.
o
Never
allow a match between conjoined twins, no matter how amusing you think it might
be.
o
Greco
Roman is not to be confused with Gecko Roman. If there is a lizard spotted in
the match, charges of indecent exposure may result.
o
Discrete
use of cell phone cameras is still allowed.
o
At
no time, should hands ever disappear from view.
o
If
you experience a wrestling match for longer than four hours, contact your
healthcare provider immediately … or get a room.
Bob Simpson
Bobsimpson1947@yahoo.com
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