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Saturday, September 26, 2015

Real Housewives Moves to Animal Planet Channel

Bravo Channel has announced that the Real Housewives series will be moving to the Animal Planet Channel. 
This decision comes after studies revealed that The Real Housewives shows are apparently about thin-skinned ageing drunk wolverines with push-up bras.    

Bravo is also joining with Animal Planet to incorporate cameo appearances of their Housewives stars into many of the Animal Planet’s line-up this fall. 

The Mostly Real Housewives
of New York City
Finding Bigfoot's first season opener include scenes of the Big Foot Trackers trying to return a prosthetic leg to Aviva of the Mostly Real Housewives of New York City. 

Aviva is gone this season. Rumor is that Bravo sent her hopping with her walking papers. The Big Foot trackers leave the stylish stump in the hands (the real hands) of the remaining gals.

Plans are to transfer the leg to a Do It Yourself cable show to use part of it to make a foot stool. 

The Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills
The Hillbilly Hand Fishing boys drop in on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. One of the larger handed rednecks pokes his ungloved paw into a limousine window and tries to snatch a housewife. First, he chums the auto by tossing bottles of Grey Goose Vodka into the back seat. 

The action starts when something large and powerful encircles the country boy’s fishing hand and yanks the hillbilly into the dark back seat. Then the tinted window slides up and there are no more muffled sounds of a wounded animal. 

The Real Housewives
of New Jersey
Pit Bulls and Parolees feature the Parolees visiting Teresa Giudice from the Housewives of New Jersey. They make the special prison visit to offer Teresa moral support, but several of the ex-con women also inquire about the possibility of a conjugal visit. Teresa slips them special instructions that have something to do with hammers and her husband’s knees.

The Real Housewives
of Miami
Rhino Wars features a wild Rhino visiting the Real Housewives of Miami for some advice on some horn enhancement. The Rhinoceros has to be placed on antidepressants when the plastic surgeon informs her that her horn is only made of hair. “There is nothing I can do for your horn, but a tummy tuck certainly is in order.”

The Real Housewives
of Atlanta
Pete Nelson of TreeHouse Masters arrives to erect a tree house for the housewives of Atlanta. Phaedra catches Pete watching her as she climbs the Treehouse ladder. Pete Nelson goes home in shame because he made a comment about Phaedra’s Bodacious Bedonka Donka.

TreeHouse Masters fans will be happy to learn that Pete Nelson has recovered his eyesight from the temporary blindness he experienced when he raised his eyes up that Atlanta tree house ladder.

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Bob Simpson