 |
| We will dance for your co-pay. |
Thursday, November 14, 2013
25 Signs That You Need a New Doctor
Is your
confidence in your current care provider waning as you shiver in the
tiny paper gown while trying to keep everything important and unimportant from flopping out?
Does your
family think that you have the most interesting health-care tales to share? Does your
favorite appliance store toss in a free Life-Time Warranty?
Did the
census taker forget to say, “I’ll see you again in ten years?” Are you
getting more junk mail from funeral homes?
If you
don’t want to become the next ironic death statistic, then take these warning
signs to heart, or to stomach, or to wherever it hurts … and look for another
doctor:
1. The
Discount Vasectomy Surgeon’s business card has a picture of a weed eater.
2. The diet
advice is to wear skimpy clothes and go on a low Garb diet.
3. The
blood pressure cuff has repair patches on it.
4. Santa
Claus has a summer home at the South Pole, so your psychiatrist thinks that St. Nick has a Bipolar Disorder.
5. “I can’t
say how much time you have left but you probably don’t need to take anything out
of the freezer for tomorrow.”
6. Your
cardiologist’s favorite blues song is “Waiting in the Transplant Line.”
7. The
Ophthalmologist uses high pressure tactics to urge you to have Glaucoma
treatment.
8. Your doctor
asks, “Are you allergic to Eye of the Newt?”
9. There
are free jelly doughnuts in the Endocrinologist’s waiting room.
10. The
reserved parking space for your doctor has an old pick up truck with a freezer
full of Shrimp for
11. Your
colonoscopy operator needs a running start.
12. The
magazine cover in the waiting room is announcing the new drug Penicillin.
13. Does
the drug company salesman walk in wearing overalls?
14. Is
there a line of protestors out front on the sidewalk?
15. “Bored
of Being Certified” is not the same as “Board Certified.”
16. Doctor’s
first words on your initial consultation are, “Now where were we?”
17. Your doctor
says, “I would like to run a PSA test on you, Mrs. Evans.”
18. The
autoclave smells like a baked sweet potato.
19. The
office will take food stamps for your co-payment.
20. You
want to get a second opinion so your doctor gives you the phone number for a
funeral home.
21. Is
there an ATM in the waiting room?
22. Does
the thermometer taste like denture cream?
23. Why
does your Dermatologist want to know your next of skin?
24. Your
Oncologist giggles when your cancer comes back.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment
What do you think?