Velveeta Shortage

Forget ObamaCare, the economy, or privacy issues, we got real trouble here. We have a Velveeta Cheese Shortage.

Repeat: Super Bowl and the Winter Olympics are coming and NO Velveeta Cheese.
Some stores on the East Coast won’t be getting the cheese until February.  The only reason offered for the shortage was driver’s demands.

Apparently, some truck drivers with families do not want to haul hazardous materials during snow and ice storms.

Can this lead to a run on cheese? Cheese usually tends to clog the bowels, but runs are still possible.

Nacho makers have started advertising their chips with guacamole or salsa options. Scientists will confirm, however, that these alternatives do not come close to the endorphin-producing effects of nacho chips covered in Velveeta Cheese.

Velveeta Cheese has always been a secret calming side dish of every death row inmate’s last meal. Prisoners blissfully meet their maker with nacho crumbs in their teeth and Velveeta on their breath.

Is Kraft actually limiting production in order to ramp up this Velveeta scare? If this is the case, all America joins in one snack savoring supplication, “Kraft, please don’t cut the cheese.”

01-12-2014 Update: 

My BigMart Grocery Store had stack of Velveeta Cheese displayed in an aisle today. I suspect this was to boost our confidence in an uninterrupted supply of the Yellow Stuff. 

George Bailey did the same thing in It's a Wonderful Life? This time it is just a Wonderful Lie. I smell a rat ... or a mouse ... or publicity stunt.

Bob Simpson

Bobsimpson1947@yahoo.com